I was never there for my children – Duncan-Williams talks about relationship with his kids

Archbishop Nicholas Duncan-Williams, the founder of Action Chapel International, has been candid about the difficulties he faces in juggling his personal life and ministry, especially in his capacity as a parent.

He claims that his incapacity to reconcile the responsibilities of being a father and a gospel pastor has caused a rift between him and his kids.

The well-known preacher said during one of his services that he only realized this as he became older and more experienced.

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“As I have grown and matured now, I check out on a lot of things, and I realised certain errors I made. When I was growing up, I got married at the age of 23. I didn’t understand a lot of things. Ministry was tough in those days, so my life was always on the road; I was always gone. At the time, I could go for six weeks and sometimes eight weeks to North and South America and Asia to be able to make ends meet and be able to take care of the family because the church could not take care of me. I learned very early not to depend on tithes, offerings, or people, because that will wound you. I had one experience, and I told myself I was not going to depend on anybody but God.

“When I look back and look at the lives of my kids, I realise that there is a vacuum that has been created, and it will take a lot of grace and wisdom to bridge that gap. This was what created the vacuum; I was never there,” he stated.

Even though he met their financial requirements, Duncan-Williams was aware of the emotional vacuum his absence caused.

For him, nothing can ever fully replace the emotional bond he once shared with his children—only a father’s love will do.

“I made sure they had all they needed and paid their school expenses, but I was never present. I’ll leave after that. Most of the time, even when I do arrive, I am exhausted, and by the time I wake up in the morning, they have already departed for school.

“Because I wake up and pray at midnight and go back to sleep, by the time I wake up, they’ve left for school. By the time they come back, I am in the office and by the time I get back from the office, they are asleep… and it went on for many years. It was later that I realised the revelation that I was an absentee father, and even though I lived with them and cared for them, I lacked understanding of many things.

“… That is, it is not just providing; you need emotional connection, and it wasn’t there. So, they had to raise themselves, and they got to learn to be survivors and create some things to fill the void, but nobody can fill that void, and nothing can fill it except the love of a father,” he added.

Watch the full video below, as shared on Facebook

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