Now this is the little problem this situation poses: you would need to get most the relevant information, whether good or bad from the potential partner.
But because people rarely paint themselves in a bad light or truly express their weaknesses and shortcomings, it is likely that they may not reveal all of their own true f**k-ups, and will instead choose to speak only about the other person’s failings.
So as to get as much information as can be gotten, one thing to do is to ask about former relationships and exes.
By asking the following ex-related questions below, you could notice toxic patterns and also indirectly get more information that’d help make up your mind whether you want to really commit to that guy or not.
1. How did their last relationship[s] end?
It could make a lot of difference for you to ask if their breakups were mutual, calm and respectful or if they were super toxic and angry breakups that.
The answers you get here could reveal to you the level of pettiness and quarrelsomeness your partner is capable of, if things ever go south between you and him.
Also, it is important to note patterns and not wave them away. The signs are always there. You just need to pay enough attention to notice them.
The signs are always there. You just need to pay enough attention to notice them. [Credit: PeopleImages/Getty Images]
2. What did they use to fight about?
By asking this question, you could become aware of some things they don’t like, which they may have omitted or forgotten to mention to you.
It could also be a way to know if you’re about to date someone who complains about everything that goes wrong, or if they’re the type to overlook things.
You’ll learn some uncomfortable truths about them, but that’s OK. [Credit Alamy]
3. Has that ex moved on?
Is he or she still friends with those exes? By asking this, you could find out early enough if those former loves have moved on or if they are still stuck on them.
Ask if that ex is dating someone new or if they’re married already. Are they in the country or have they moved abroad?
In an age where some girl could be dating your man even though he’s no longer dating her, where some man may still be dating your girl even though she is no longer with them, the question is really, really important.
If he or she had their heart broken, there’s a chance that that baggage will affect your current relationship.[Source: Essence]
4. Did they cheat?
Of course, no one readily admits this. But it doesn’t hurt to ask and hopefully create a honest conversation, know whether or not to stick or twist. so that you can set up new rules and boundaries for the budding relationship.
5. Were they cheated on?
It may also be good to ask questions about any cheating that happened to them. If he or she had their heart broken, there’s a chance that that baggage will affect your current relationship.
For example, people who have been played, heartbroken and emotionally defrauded could [understandably] have trust issues and it is something you’ll need to address before agreeing to date them.